Wednesday, August 31, 2022

you'll feel it tomorrow

in my workout this morning, the coach encouraged us to use proper form and technique, and he said, "if you do it right today, you'll feel it tomorrow." i know what he meant. if i do the exercise correctly today, my muscles go through a rebuild/grow process, and i'll be sore tomorrow. 

i know this is true. it's normal to feel sore after doing a good workout. tomorrow i'll say to myself, 'wow i'm so sore,' and i'll know it is from the workout i did this morning. i did something right yesterday and gosh it hurts today. it's normal, and i'll be stronger tomorrow. it's all part of the process, and the results are dependent on how i do the work today. (not if, but how. that's important.)

so as the coach is saying this, and i hold the dumbbells in my hands, i start to think about the emotional pain i'm experiencing lately. 

my daughter left for college two weeks ago. she moved out of our home and into a cute little dorm an hour and a half away. and we're so proud of her and we're grateful! and she's doing amazing. but, man, i miss my little bestie so much and my heart hurts. like when she left, with all her belongings stuffed into IKEA bags and suitcases, she scooped out a big chunk of my heart on her way out the door leaving a gaping hole. she didn't mean to; that part of my heart has always been hers. it's just always been here and now it's not. 

i'm feeling it. and i know this is nothing new. it's a normal pain that comes with sending your child out into the world. it hurts to say goodbye to a season of parenthood and childhood. parents who have gone before us nod and smile empathetically, saying things like, "this is what parents want!" "this is what you've worked for all these years!" we know. this is the process.

when the workout coach says, "if you do it right today, you'll feel it tomorrow," i hear the Lord encourage me with this: "the (emotional) pain you're feeling today is because you must have done something right yesterday."   

God reminded me that i made the most of every moment with her yesterday. i took a million pictures of her/with her yesterday. i made sure we made lots of memories together yesterday. i never wished away a season of her childhood yesterday. i was present with her yesterday. i was her biggest cheerleader yesterday. i worked to build trust and respect with her yesterday. i taught her everything i know yesterday. i watched her grow and learn and i was there when she needed me yesterday. i hugged her and told her i loved her every chance i got yesterday. 

17 years of doing that really did something to my heart muscle. i did something right yesterday and gosh it hurts today. it's normal, it's all part of God's good plan, and i'll be stronger tomorrow. ❤️

while we're here...
to any moms of littles reading this, 
i know you hear this a lot but please hear it fresh from me right now: make the most of every day with your kids. enjoy motherhood. don't take the days for granted. don't rush childhood. be super intentional with your kids. pour into them. lean into every load of laundry, every carline, every minute hunched over homework, every pb&j, every zoo trip, every Halloween costume, every sibling squabble you have to break up, every hard lesson you teach, every sleepless night, everything. everything! don't complain it away or give into the negative mom narrative. soak it all in. eat it up. before you know it, it'll be over and that place in your heart that you've been growing and nurturing will be scooped out and sent out into the world, leaving a hollow hole. how you mom today matters. if you do it right today, you'll feel it tomorrow.