Wednesday, October 26, 2022

staying in touch with my college girl



she's 120 miles away from home in her first year of college. i miss her so much. 120 miles might not seem like a lot (thankfully it's not), but it feels like a million miles away some days. 

maybe you are in the same season as me? with a child off somewhere in her first year of college, and you just want her to know that you love her, you're proud of her, and you're still/always there for her. maybe you're like me and since you can't hug her every day, you have to do SOMETHING ANYTHING to send her love? maybe these ideas will help you? i'm just doing my best here lol :) 

here are some simple ways i'm staying in touch with my college girl, encouraging her, and loving on her across the distance:

// texting her. seems obvious but it works. we text a LOT and by we i mean i text her a lot :) i text her the things i would say to her in person if she was still here at home, like "need anything from the grocery store?" and "drive safe, have fun, take pictures!"

// send prayers and scriptures. whatever the Lord puts on my heart when i'm praying for her, i send to her via text or email. i let her know what i'm praying for her and Bible verses to encourage her especially when it's relevant to something she's going through. 

// pretty, fun, funny, sweet images. my daughter is not on social media otherwise i would DM her or tag her in posts/images/memes. instead, i screenshot or screen video and send her any image i come across online that is pretty, fun, funny, sweet, or would otherwise bring a smile to her face. Pinterest is a great place to search out specific graphics! i've been using Pinterest a lot to find a cute graphic, screenshot, crop, and text to her. 

// facetime. we don't facetime as often as i would like to, or even as often as i imagined we would, only because our girly has a pretty full schedule. but as often as we can, we facetime her and it always lights me up from the inside out to see her face on the screen. it's so good to see her smile in her new surroundings.  

// LOCKET app. have you heard of this app? it allows you to connect with someone and share photos to each other's phones. the four of us in our family share a Locket, we each have the app, and at any time, we can take a photo on the app and when we share it, it appears directly instantly onto everyone else's phones. it's really neat! we can react/respond to eachother's Lockets, and they are saved within the app. check it out - i highly recommend for friends near and far! Locket Widget on the App Store (apple.com)

// cards. i frequently stock up on "missing you," "just because," and "blank inside" greeting cards to send to her in the mail. i try to get a card in the mail to her once a week. she once told me that the email from university telling her she has mail in the mail center is the best email to receive! :) 

// care packages big and small. sometimes i'll stick something fun in the greeting cards i send- like a gift card, fun stickers, pictures of us and the dogs, or a face mask, something flat that can go easily USPS with stamps. other times, like maybe once a month, i'll send her a bigger "care package." maybe not necessarily a package but maybe a bouquet of flowers, a box of fresh cookies or cupcakes from a local bakery, or some of her favorite snacks. instacart and uber eats makes it pretty easy to send stuff like that! i also use amazon to surprise her and have things delivered straight to her: boxes of her favorite popcorn, a cozy blanket, a new vinyl record, a pumpkin carving kit, a mini christmas tree for her dorm room...things like that. 

// welcome home gifts. throughout the days and weeks that we are apart, i accumulate little things and compile a gift to have for her when she gets home. things like her favorite candy, lipgloss, stickers, snacks, magazines, and other little things like that. i set it up in her bedroom so when she comes home there's a lovebomb surprise there waiting for her :)   

doing things like this help make the miles between us and the time apart not seem so far. i'm just trying to make the most of these days! :) hope this helps you, too! 


###

Wednesday, August 31, 2022

you'll feel it tomorrow




in my workout this morning, the coach encouraged us to use proper form and technique, and he said, "if you do it right today, you'll feel it tomorrow." i know what he meant. if i do the exercise correctly today, my muscles go through a rebuild/grow process, and i'll be sore tomorrow. 

i know this is true. it's normal to feel sore after doing a good workout. tomorrow i'll say to myself, 'wow i'm so sore,' and i'll know it is from the workout i did this morning. i did something right yesterday and gosh it hurts today. it's normal, and i'll be stronger tomorrow. it's all part of the process, and the results are dependent on how i do the work today. (not if, but how. that's important.)

so as the coach is saying this, and i hold the dumbbells in my hands, i start to think about the emotional pain i'm experiencing lately. 

my daughter left for college two weeks ago. she moved out of our home and into a cute little dorm an hour and a half away. and we're so proud of her and we're grateful! and she's doing amazing. but, man, i miss my little bestie so much and my heart hurts. like when she left, with all her belongings stuffed into IKEA bags and suitcases, she scooped out a big chunk of my heart on her way out the door leaving a gaping hole. she didn't mean to; that part of my heart has always been hers. it's just always been here and now it's not. 

i'm feeling it. and i know this is nothing new. it's a normal pain that comes with sending your child out into the world. it hurts to say goodbye to a season of parenthood and childhood. parents who have gone before us nod and smile empathetically, saying things like, "this is what parents want!" "this is what you've worked for all these years!" we know. this is the process.

when the workout coach says, "if you do it right today, you'll feel it tomorrow," i hear the Lord encourage me with this: "the (emotional) pain you're feeling today is because you must have done something right yesterday."   

God reminded me that i made the most of every moment with her yesterday. i took a million pictures of her/with her yesterday. i made sure we made lots of memories together yesterday. i never wished away a season of her childhood yesterday. i was present with her yesterday. i was her biggest cheerleader yesterday. i worked to build trust and respect with her yesterday. i taught her everything i know yesterday. i watched her grow and learn and i was there when she needed me yesterday. i hugged her and told her i loved her every chance i got yesterday. 

17 years of doing that really did something to my heart muscle. i did something right yesterday and gosh it hurts today. it's normal, it's all part of God's good plan, and i'll be stronger tomorrow. ❤️




while we're here...
to any moms of littles reading this, 
i know you hear this a lot but please hear it fresh from me right now: make the most of every day with your kids. enjoy motherhood. don't take the days for granted. don't rush childhood. be super intentional with your kids. pour into them. lean into every load of laundry, every carline, every minute hunched over homework, every pb&j, every zoo trip, every Halloween costume, every sibling squabble you have to break up, every hard lesson you teach, every sleepless night, everything. everything! don't complain it away or give into the negative mom narrative. soak it all in. eat it up. before you know it, it'll be over and that place in your heart that you've been growing and nurturing will be scooped out and sent out into the world, leaving a hollow hole. how you mom today matters. if you do it right today, you'll feel it tomorrow.


###