Saturday, September 15, 2012

the 17th September 15th


fifteen years ago tonight, i sat in the bleachers of my high school football game and felt my life spinning out of control. i had gone to the game at the urging of my Mom, to escape reality...and for a change of scenery.

for the five days prior, i was in an ICU waiting room while doctors tried to revive my Daddy from a coma.

this teenage Daddy's girl was facing a tremendous and tragic loss head on. it was unbelievable. i didn't know hope, i barely knew of heaven, and i certainly didn't know how to pray. i was sad and mad and lost.

i wondered who was in charge of all of this? why are we here if this kind of thing happens? who allows a child's father, a big strong guy with a great laugh and warm hug, to collapse suddenly and never wake up? who gives the okay to put this gaping hole in a girl's heart? to make her wonder who will walk her down the aisle at her wedding, or who will give those always warm hugs to her children? i wondered, if this is happening today, on September 15, 1995, why would i want to face tomorrow? how could i possibly live through this?

but i did. i've lived 17 September 15s since my Daddy died. and this is how: his name is Jesus. the place is Heaven. the promise is eternity. the gift is strength for today and bright hope for tomorrows. He carries my sorrows!

i might not know the why, but i am confident that someday i will. it will all make perfect sense and such that i will praise Him with thanksgiving. and i will be reunited with my strong, healthy Daddy, who's laugh i'm sure is heard heaven-wide.

as for today, the 17th September 15th without my Dad, i have more hope than i'll ever need, i pray heaven on earth, my heart is healed, and i live happy and glad, with the promise of an abundant life, because i am saved. i'll always be my Daddy's girl, and i'm also my Heavenly Father's beloved daughter.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Why, my soul, are you downcast?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God. 

‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ 
or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.