Monday, May 18, 2009

missing Castle Rock

this morning i woke up thinking of Castle Rock. it happens all the time. the memories are so vivid, and when i lay in bed and think about my life in Castle Rock, i almost have to look in the mirror to bring me back to the present.

as of this summer, we have lived here in Texas as long as we lived in Colorado. i don't miss it because i loved it so much. i mean, i did love it a little bit and sometimes, but Texas has always been home (always will be) and the whole time we lived there i wanted to move back here.

i miss Castle Rock because it was where i spent every single day. it was my life. i woke up, got dressed, went to Castle Rock. and there i stayed until sometimes 8 or 9 at night. i made the 20-minute drive back and forth from home to Castle Rock a million times. about a hundred times in snow and ice. I-25, Wolfensberger Rd., Caprice Court, Wilcox, 5th Street, Front Street, Gilbert, South Street, Plum Creek Parkway.

i can still see "the rock" - i can picture it from every angle. i remember the thrill that came with the lighting of the star on top of the rock. and if i think about it long enough, i can recall street names, school names, local government officials, names of the shops and stores that line the cute little streets of downtown Castle Rock.

i worked there. my job was important. i was reporter, and later editor, of the town's little daily newspaper. which is probably why i was there mind, body, and soul. i didn't just go to work. i immersed myself. i had to: job requirement. i loved it. i took pride in Castle Rock. because of my job, i somewhat 'represented' Castle Rock.

i miss Castle Rock because it was my career. albeit short, but nonetheless. i went from college to Castle Rock to full time motherhood. in my mind's timeline, Castle Rock is a big, important chunk of my life. i may not ever have another career...maybe that was it. and i miss that career, that life, sometimes.

i miss Castle Rock less and less as time goes by. it'll be fun when we go back to visit next summer.