Monday, April 24, 2006

good cookie

i love this magazine. someone must have secretly subscribed me or something because somehow i am getting it regularly, and boy am i glad. it is as thick as In Style, as relevant as Parenting, and at the same time, as hip and current as People. thank you, whoever you are.

last night i read Genevieve Field's article on making the decision to have a second child. great topic. this is a HUGE issue that is overlooked and never really talked about. most people think this is a given. you have one baby, then later, you have another. people started asking me when we would have baby #2 even before baby hall's crusty umbilical cord fell off. my uterus contracted at the mere mention of "another one." to most people, a second baby is the nature of things. you eat breakfast; you eat lunch. you get married; you take a honeymoon. usually these people either aren't parents, or haven't been new parents in a long long time. they've forgotten what it feels like to be "two zombies hosting one very small foreign-exchange student."

the sweetest argument throughout her careful consideration was this...

"How is it I can love you so much? Huh?" she asked her 18-month old son. "And if you had a sister or brother, would I have double the love to carry around in my heart all the time? Wouldn't that be too heavy?"

i know how she feels. every new mama probably does. especially after people ask so casually "so when are you gonna have another rugrat?" our immediate thought, and what we say outloud with a smile, is, "not for a while."

but then we start to think about it. and we gaze into the beautiful eyes of our only child and we wonder...wouldn't that be too heavy?